Hi, I am new to this board, but I need some direction & help PLEASE!!!
13 days ago my husband of 4 years came home from work to tell me he no longer wanted to be married, The next day he never came home from work. Two days later he brought a uhaul home and loaded his things in it. He left our daughter which will be 3 Feb 18th and myself with no reason but Its too much like a job, I just dont want to be married, I love you both its not you its all me. Well come to find out he changed all banking information, took all of our & my money, took all important document such as my daughter life insurance, health ins. savings bonds. Took all the money out of my daughters savings and my student loan money. And told me to figure it out, he is not responsible for me, only our daughter!! Our rent it paid till the end of Feb, and then I have no idea what is going to happen to my daughter & I. I have not worked in over 4 years at my husbands request, I was to stay at home and take care of the home and the baby, as I did. There is no place for my daughter and I to go here, I dont know what to do, I deep down feel that he is making a HUGE mistake, it just makes no sence we were not even 3 weeks ago talking about having another child. This is killing my daughter, he has worked so hard to build a special bond with her and they had a daily routine which Im left to explain everyday why daddys not here. But I dont know. He will not say he wants A DIVORCE i just get he is confused maybe things will be different in 2 wks or 6 mths he dosent know!! WHat do I do? My family is falling apart, this person I am seeing here latley is not the man I married. He does not even seem willing to give us another chance. How do you just walk out on your wife an child like that? I pray daily that he will relize what a mistake he is making and for GOD to bring him home to us. Anyone have any advice. I just want him to not give up on us! Please help me...

Tanner I am so sorry for you and am hurting for you. You must stay strong for your daughter's sake. Pray to God as much as you can and ask that He lead you in the direction He has planned for you. Remind your daughter of good memories she has with her father until he realizes what he is doing and teach your daughter about the wonderful relationship she has with God. Stay close to God and in time you will see where He wants you to go, what He wants you to do and why He has made this situation arise in your life. God Bless you. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Welcome to the Message Board, Tanner 04,

First, let me express my sorrow for what is happening in your life. The prayers of all who read your message will be on-going for you.

I do have the following suggestions for you:

1. Whatever is happening in your husbands life, do not blame yourself. The enemy will try to convince you it was your fault in some way or that other circumstances caused this. Rebuke any thoughts of that kind. Your husband planned his escape of his own will. That he would clean out your bank accounts and even your daughters savings shows premeditated actions with cold calculation. He is right, it is about him.

2. Get a lawyer, immediately. This may sound severe, since you were asking for suggestions on how to keep your family together. We are called to use wisdom in all matters. As recorded in Matthew 10:16 :

16Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.

Your husband has a head start on this, but you need legal advice on how to establish or protect your financial security for you and your daughter. Most larger cities have legal aid societies where you can obtain legal assistance if you have no funds to pay for one. I have attached a link below of the Christian Legal Society web site if that will help you. There may be something you can do to legally get back assets your husband has taken, but you need advice on this from a legal expert. Also, since you provided the support for your husband at home, you may be able to obtain the court's assistance for spousal support from your husband.

3. Can you find shelter with your parents or other relatives at this time? You need the support of family or other loved ones and so does your daughter. Also, it is good for you not to be alone as you do not know what your husband might do next. I am not trying to scare you, but could he come back for your daughter next? A man who has done what has occurred so far is capable of anything as he is driven by thoughts and actions that are ungodly.

4. You are in a spiritual battle. Ephesians 6 provides direction on how we are to proceed in such a battle. As you read, re-read and meditate on this, allow the Lord to direct your path and to strengthen you for the days ahead.

Ephesians 6:

10Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.

11Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

12For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

13Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

14Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

15And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

16Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

17And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:

18Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;

God Bless You.

http://www.clsnet.org/mmPages/referral_court.php


Nick P.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Nick P.,

Tanner -

Nick is giving you excellent counsel here. I went through a divorce three years ago and although there were no children. My spouse planning on taking everything of value. You do have to protect yourself and do not let anyone tell you to simply trust and God will take care of it all. While God does love you, will protect you and cover you, He also expects us to do our part.

When I came home and found the note and a large part of our posssessions missing I immediately went out to the hardware store and bought locks. You need to change the locks for you and your daughter protection.

Next step is to get legal counsel as quickly as possible. Nick gave you a really good resource and I pray you use it. This all sound excessive and feels surreal but it is real.

I remember being numb for months, but understood that regardless of my emotional state I needed to trust God and push forward doing what I needed to do. It is extremely hard but you are good for it and God is there every step of the way.

Nick is also right in saying that this is not your fault. It was cold and calculated. My guess is that at this point you are not getting the truth from your husband. But that is not the important things right now. You need to concentrate on you and your daughter.

Finally, Nick is right ... this a one of the biggest battles you will ever be in. But you can win this. You need to dedicate yourself to prayer and study. I also found one or two people who would be my prayer partners. But the other thing that I asked them was to help me be accountable to the things of God and not my flesh. You need people who are strong in their walk and who will lovingly tell you truth even when the truth hurts. People who will stick by you because you are on an emotional rollercoaster. But if you hang onto God and His promises you will come through it and your faith and walk will grow exponentially!!!

Know that my heart goes out to the both of you and I know your pain. Tears last but for a nighttime but joy comes in the morning. You have to beleive that and hang onto it.

I will be praying for you and trusting that God will wrap His loving arms of grace and mercy around you both.

God bless you!
Howie

Hi Tanner,
I just read you message and I am living proof that you will make it and that if you put all your trust in God Things will get better.
I was pregnant with our first baby when my husband walked out on me. He sent me divorce papers and treated me really bad. He paid the rent till the end of feb 2006 and then i was left on my own with no family in this country.
I was so lost.
Days got worse but i picked myself up and put all my trust in GOD. He is faithful and will never leave your side even though sometimes you might feel like he is not there -God is by your side.
I am now a single mom of a beautiful 4 month old. My husband doesnt want the divorce any more and even though we are not together every now and again he wants to get back together.ME-well I keep trustng God and do what i have to to take care of my son and myself.
God keeps to his word and his promises you can bank on. Somedays are tough for me and sometimes i cry but joy comes in the morning.Think about it-what is the worst that can happen and keep moving fixing your eyes on our JEsus. USe this time to concentrate on you and your relationship with our father god.
I know right now you must feel all alone and helpless. But even now God is doing something for you. he is always working on your behalf for those that trust him.
I encourage you to take it 1 day at a time an dnot to loose hope.
You will make it!!!!
Take care and God bless you and you baby!!!
-Promise

My prayers are with your during these difficult times. Know that our precious Jesus hears and will answer your request.