Hi there GDWM,

Thanks for all the Godly support and the lives that you change. I pray the Lord will continue to increase your strength as you work in Him.

I have an interesting problem. Over the last 18 months, I have lived by the Grace of God. I am sure of this as everytime a bill comes, it is cleared yet in between the bills, we have just enough to get by. Over and over again, God has come through for us. Previous to this 18 months, I have always had more than I need and always been in a position to bless anyone around me including paying the school fees of my relatives.

I should be grateful to God, I am. I should thank God for taking us through each day, I am. However, I am not satisfied, I am not happy. I still want to be in control. I know full well that it is better to live by the Spirit BUT when I look back over the last 18 months and see that my best efforts all led to nothing, I get really downcast.

I guess it is because I have fought all my life, I have never had to depend on anyone BUT now I find myself having to accept assistance from others. That really makes me feel grouchy!

I guess I can counsel another and tell them about following the example of Christ when He washed the feet of the disciples, about how He actually lived off other people.

I guess I struggle with receiving anything, including love. I never ever felt loved, never had any relationship with any of my parents but grew up in the same house. By the time my father passed away when I was 16, I had talked to him only once, and even then, he ended up scolding me for something I do not remember. I feel I forgave him, no hard feelings BUT I suspect I developed a thick skin that finds it hard to accept love. I asked God to be the father I never had when I was 19 but somehow I feel there is a physical something missing. I make decisions but I am rarely sure of myself, I feel as if I need a physical person to talk to me and talk through issues. I find it hard to accept advice unless I agree with it.

In any relationship I have had, I always terminated the relationships because I felt she never loved me always ending up being breaking hearts. I was considered an excellent lover when I was still a bachelor. I have been a believer since 13 and always stood by discipline in any relationship so infedility is not an issue. However, I would get bored quickly and then irritated by the other, who would then try her best to please me instead I would get more irritated, start dodging and eventually end the relationship suddenly.

I guess because I just try to give people what I feel I want them to give me BUT I am unable to receive and accept compliments and affection. I always downplay affection and compliments!

I know God loves me infinitely BUT why can I not get over my inability to accept anything including love? We want to start a family, I am 32 and so is my wife BUT I pray I will give to my children what I did not have or receive.

Please do pray for me,

Willy

Willy,

I will absolutely pray for you. You have honestly stated your weaknesses and your need for God to work in your life. God will honor that you are honestly seeking Him in this. I can attest that you are not alone in the struggle to depend on others as well as God in your life completely. It is a daily fight with our flesh. It is good to know that He is always there for us no matter how many times we ask for His help on the same issues. Continue to bring this before God. Continue to be completely honest with Him. If you are not satisfied, tell God that you are not and you need help on doing what you know you should. He knows our true motives anyways, its for our sake He wants us to be completely honest with Him.

Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ( Jeremiah 29:12-13)


I stand with you in this pray request.

Your brother in Christ,

Shawn

Willy,
I understand how you feel and I am asking the LORD to step in your situation. Father, Please teach Willy and myself how to receive. Father we need you right now. Amen

Shawn & Tanya,

Thanks for the prayers! They really have been of effect - the prayers of the righteous availeth much.

Jesus indeed did not leave us to our own means but asked for God to sent His Spirit who guides us and reminds us of all things. (John 14:16,26-27.)

This is what He said to me,

"Why are you so upset & anxious? (Luke 10:41). Why are you so bent on success and worry about tomorrow continuously, indeed the Father knows your needs. If He watches over the birds of the air, how much more you? (Luke 12:24-30). The love of money, success and the pleasures of this world are chocking God's message in you. The love of money is the beginning of evil. It will cause you great harm and sorrow. Do not let it. (1 Tim 6:8-10, Heb 12:1). But you my child, look to me, I will not break any bruised reed, I am the giver of life. I love you with an unending love. I sent my own Son just for you."

Indeed living in the duplicity of this world, and the constant bombardment by the media and the people around us, leads to internal pressure to succeed or so to say, have the appearance of success. What we really need is to go about our Father's business.

I pray to God that everytime this starts to happen, we will be obedient to His Spirit who will always remind us and leave us with a choice.

Where would we be without the Holy Spirit?

Thank you Shawn, Tanya and GDWM for the work of the Lord and accepting to be used of Him.

Willy

Amen Willy,

Praise God for opening our eyes to what is important in life. It is a daily battle. Read "Only One is Needed", a recent post under the "Daily Message" forum. It echoes these thoughts.