I feel awful. I am a 5 year old Christian who is having a HARD time really trusting God right now. My husband was diagnosed with lung cancer 3 years ago and in these years he has had 12 tumors that have metastisized in the brain, clavical, bones on spine, liver and now brain again.

I am tired, so tired. My husband has so much trust in God and faith that God is our healer. I do too. I know in my heart Jesus came for our salvation and for our healing. But I am so much in need of seeing or at least having some time where my husband and I can 'come up for air' from all these diagnoses.

We go Monday for another MRI to see if the radiation treatment he took 4 weeks ago has impacted the tumor.

Plus, I have fear that I am going to lose my husband to this horrible disease and lose my best friend. I know, Jesus is to be my best friend, and I think I can say he is, but again there are days when I doubt it.

I need to be strong for my husband and give him encouragement, but I am getting to the point where I just don't know how much longer I can.

I ask God for strength. I sing praises, speak out his Word. Yet, I think I'm just so tired, I don't necessarily let Him in or allow the Holy Spirit to minister to me.

I need some encouraging words for me. I have given so much to my husband that I think I need to receive for me now. Does that sound selfish, because I feel selfish.

Please God, remove us from this oppression of sickness in our home and let the people see your Glory through our lives and what signs and miracles you do today.

Thank you for 'listening'.

Javadiva,

Heavenly Father, we come to you with open arms asking for intervention and healing of your daughters heart. May you comfort her and reach through these trails to let her know you haven't forget about her husband. May you bring a miracle her way. May your Holy Spirit manifest in her husbands body causing revelation of healing to occur as we pray in faith. Lets us know that nothing is too big for you, 17 "Ah, Sovereign LORD , you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you. 26 Then the word of the LORD came to Jeremiah: 27 "I am the LORD , the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me? Jeremiah 32:17,26-27.
I pray that God brings healing to your husband and my he calm your heart and mind, The Bible says; Do not fear; the Lord is with you.10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10.

Dear Lord, I know you hear our crys and hearts; please bring a healing to your sons body. Only you can change the state and well being through our pleas and request. Grant us a miracle Lord.

May we continue to trust in you Lord the father that takes care of us. Think of how God cares even for the birds and the flowers. You are of much more value than they are.

I will be praying for a break through for your husband and family.

I pray that God give you comfort and encouragement to trust him. 28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint. Isa. 40:28-31

I'm with you and your husband in prayer!!!!!

Oh, you sweet sweet woman! How I wish I was close to you and could give you a break physically. I went through this 4 years ago with a friend. She was absolutely exhausted as well. You are not selfish. You are simply spent. Remember when Elijah got tired and God sent an angel to refresh him. Jesus got weary and fell asleep in a boat. Is. 40 says even youths grow weary. I'm including a few verses here for you to encourage you:

He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young...
The everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, does not faint or grow weary; there is no searching of His understanding. He gives power to the faint and weary, and to him who has no might He increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall feebly stumble and fall exhausted; But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired.

Please try to find someone to give you a physical reprieve where you can get away for a short time to rest, alone. Each day, try to allow yourself a moment as well that is just yours...Think of things you did before his illness that you loved, and try to engage yourself in one of those things you no longer do. No one can be 24/7/365 caregiver without a little bit of re-creating. God planned us to have 1 day of rest per week. I am pretty sure you get none. Please think of people who would be willing to help you. I'm sure there are some who are just waiting for you to say "I'm ready. Please help." Let the body intercede for you, too. God certainly answers the prayers of His people; and, He watches over his Word to perform it. You will be on my heart and mind, and in my prayers, JavaDiva. My prayer now for you is this:

Precious Heavenly Father, reach down and touch Your dear children with You loving Hand. Your daughter is hurting from the strain of life, and from the pain that is inflicted upon her love. Lord God, it is not Your will that her husband go through this. It is not Your desire that they suffer. We come into agreement with You, Lord. We ask that Your will be done in this earth, in exactly the same way that it is done in heaven. May You enter into their lives and bodies, and raise them up with the same miraculous power of eternal life that raised our Jesus from the dead. Quicken their mortal bodies, Lord, according to Your Word. Let Your greatness be manifest to all involved. Strengthen JavaDiva. Grant her peace in this situation. Grant her hope in You. Strengthen her faith, and allow her to place her husband securely in Your loving arms. Let her not fear; but, rather trust that You love him more than she. And, that you love her as well. Please Lord, we bring them to You for You are our God and our Deliverer. You are our Healer. You are our Hope; our EverPresent Help in times of trouble. Do not be silent! Hear our prayers and send Your ministering angels to bring peace and healing to this family. And, we will give You thanksgiving and Praise! In Jesus Most Precious Name! Amen

Thank you so much. Your words were like suave to me and much needed love. I love the Lord and I know he is in control. It is your words of encouragement and prayer that God has used to touch me this day.

YOur advice and counsel is right on and I will begin to do this. Thank you so much. You are precious in His sight because of the love you have sent me.

God bless you richly.

Javadiva....I am so sorry...I can't imagine what it must be like for you...my husband and I are close as well.....he is such a good hubby....
Father, we ask in Jesus name for your wisdom and insight....we ask that you meet our sister at each step and that she knows your comfort....we ask for complete healing, comfort and help for her husband.....we ask that their relationship with you may be increased with many blessings.....In Jesus name......

javadiva,

You and your husband are both in my prayers. I felt your pain as I was reading your message.

Jesus is a healer!

All my love,
Praise Him

Hi Javadiva

I know how it is to be so very tired and u look around and there is something else that needs doing or there is another battle to face....You are hurting because ur husband's ill, and u believe, the doubts creep really testing ur faith....These are the times we are to be strong in the Lord...

Paul says when I am weak he is strong....It is time to be strong in him, to get into his love...it is like soothing balm, oh how wonderful to rest in the Lord's presence when there are storms surrounding u and u feel like u have so much to carry...and no one there to unleash those burdens....

Thank God for Jesus, he is our Saviour....and he loves us...and it is time to get into his love and just rest from all of this...Don't worry give all these burdens now...

Lord I can't possibly know how I can get through all of this, u do, please Lord show me the way and carry me through....in Jesus' name, amen....

Javadiva I know how it can be difficult to be a caregiver and also to be ill as well dealing with all sorts of medical difficulties...we deal with 16....I also know how heart breaking it is to watch the one u love in pain and there is nothing u can do....this is the times that only the Lord can do it...and we just need to let him....and he wants to that for u...U don't have to try and believe, u don't have to try and fight those doubts....

The only thing u need to do...is to love the Lord and let him be ur healer, comforter, Saviour...he will give u his faith, his strength, and his love also his hopes....the only thing he wants u to do, is to take ur focus off the circumstances and keep your focus on Jesus and tell him all your troubles and burdens and give them to him and he will make it a light lighter, easier to go through what u r going through...because u will go through it in God's love and that is where the healing comes from, his Love....and he loves us in so many ways...through his Son, his Spirit, his Grace, his Word, his Children/his Body-Body of Christ and his blessings, messages, insights etc....

It seems to be what u r in need of is a complete washing and renewal of his love....a flooding....

Oh Abba Rapha, great and wonderful physician, we call on you today in Jesus' name into Javadiva's situation...she is hurting Oh Lord, her husband is ill and she is in need of ur love and strength. We call upon you in Jesus' name to flood Javadiva with your beautiful love and peace...Jesus come and calm the storms in javadiva's life...give her your rest and resprite and renew and restore her so she can be a wonderful witness and channel of a beautiful loving Child of God....Oh Lord Jesus we lift up Javadiva and her husband and we place them under your blood....Jesus u know what needs to be done, u know what needs to be restored, u know what needs to be healed and so we surrender this family into your heart, your centre and we are asking for miracles in this family's life so that all may believe completely and that our Father and your name be glorified...Holy Spirit breathe on javadiva restore a fresh where she is in Jesus' name, give her a revelation that all things are possible in God...for God can move and wants to move mountains....in Jesus' name, amen

love and blessings in the Lord,

Serenity

Hi Javadiva

These praise and worship songs are coming into my mind for you and your husband...

Wash over me (from wash over me album)

touch our ears Lord, hear the melody that's beyond the melody

The sounds a heart can feel

When the tears are falling
And the leaves roll across my mind
When the waves are breaking
And the sun is hard to find
When the deep is calling
And the waterfalls my home
When I'm all but drowning
and I'm treading on my own
I cry a silent prayer
that comes out of me its a mystery
Come wash over me
Wash over me
til I can't take anymore
I dream that my voice is heard
in the secret place
where I bare my face
Come wash over me
Wash over me
til I can't take anymore

Wash over me Lord
Rescue
When the deep is calling
and the waterfalls my home
when I'm all but drowning
and I'm treading on my own
I cry a silent prayer
that comes out of me
its a mystery
come wash over me
wash over me
til I can't take anymore
I dream that my voice is heard
in the secret place
where I bare my face
Come wash over me
Wash over me til I can't take anymore
I dream

Wash over me
Wash over me
Wash over me
Wash over me

I sow....

wash over me
wash over me
wash over me
wash over me
wash over me
til I can't take anymore
wash over me
wash over me
til I can't take anymore

wash over me
wash over me
til I can't take naymore

wash over me
wash over me
wash over me
wash over me
feel the melody beyond the melody
the sounds past beyond the sound of my natural ear can hear but I feel
make me alive, make me alive, make me alive, make me alive make me alive.....etc...

My heart and my flesh cry out
My heart and my flesh cry out
My heart and my flesh cry out


Breathe on Me

Breathe on me
Breathe on me Lord
Breathe on me
and make me new

Breathe on me
True to your word
Breathe on me
I'm in awe of you
more of you

You're my life for me
the hope of growing
You're my life for me
a mystery of your love
falling over me
falling over me

I can see glory
I can see glory
I can see glory
all around

(repeat 4 times)


by Jeff Crabtree Prayerworks 1996 Seam of Gold

love and blessings in the Lord,

Serenity

Javadiva,
I am currently reading a Christian book on oh my, it was talking about encouraging other Christian. After reading the chapter I logged on to GDW Message board and was lead to your posting. How ironic huh, not really God moves like that .

We all need and must encourage one another daily is what the word says. I am not going to focus my posting on your husband, but on you.

Lord, you hear my sisters pain and we know that you are a healer of ALL/EVERY pain we experience/feel in our lives. I ask that you give her encouragement right now. I ask that you show her the way to encouragement. We all get like this at some point father and we know that you and only you are the way. I ask that you bless her right now in her spirit, mind and body. I ask that you bless her home, husband, friends and family. Lord touch her right now. Like the women with the issue of blood – she just needed your touch and everything was all right. Hear us right now. And he answer!!

Javadiva, I ask that you do not feel bad about feeling selfish – God knows your heart and what you are faced with at present. Even in times when we doubt we have to just reflect on his past VICTORIES and that will remove all doubt. I know it is easy for me to say those words, but just like many others on this message board has experience at some point in our journey as a Christian we all doubt. We all get weak, we all fall – it is going to happen. But thank God for Jesus who died on Calvary that in the END we got the Victory.

Javadiva,
I understand what you are going through. I am in that fire with you. I too have been caring for a chronically ill wife and son. I know how you feel. How tired you are and that you feel abandoned and alone. Trust in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He will give strength and courage far beyond what you can imagine. Make Him your Rock. Lean upon Him with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. He is a God of Mercy and Grace. Run to Him and He will run to you. He loves you and will restore you. But you need to have total Faith and Trust in Him. Lay everything before the Lord, your fears, your pain, innermost sufferings. He will hear you and do what is best for you. I give this from His Word. "I will come to you and fulfill My gracious promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:10-13). Father God we come to You once again to lift up Your daughter Javadiva and her husband. Father we know that you are the Master Physician and Healer. We know that you love your children and that you care for each one of them. We pray dear Lord this unselfish prayer of healing for you son and daughter. Give them what they need and this as in all things will be to Your Glory Father. I pray for these things in Jesus name. Amen.

In Christ,
Brian

Javadiva,
I was prompted to give you this also from God's Word:
The God of All Comfort

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,
who comforts us in all our troubles,
so that we can comfort those in any trouble
with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.
For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives,
so also through Christ our comfort overflows.
(2Corinthians 1:3-5)

In Christ,
Brian

Javadiva
This scripture came to mind. "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you."( James 4:8) and " Be still and know I am God." I will be praying for you and for your husband's healing. I pray that God will let you feel His presense and love and comfort your hearts and strengthen you both. May He grant you both rest and assurance of His mercy and grace.

":The Lord is near those who have a broken heart and saves such as have a contrite spirit."Psalm 34:18
"You number my wanderings, put my tears into your bottle. Are they not in Your book?" Psalm56:8

I feel so blessed by all of you. I was desparrate for someone to help me. Your words and prayers have been felt in my heart. There are times I struggle with resing in the peace of Jesus. Sometimes I wonder if I really know how. Yet, when I cry out to Him, and completely unload on Him, I feel what I believe must be His peace because quite often I could just lay down and sleep.

I'm asking God to help me love him more and to give me the love He has for His son in my heart too.

I have looked at the past victories with this cancer walk and can see God's hand. It couldn't be coincidence.

I love you all and only wish I could meet you in person to give you all a big hug. You all have felt like an extended family to me and I know you are because of your love for the Lord.

Thank you all. I am trusting the Lord for a good report on Monday. But no matter what it is, the Lord is my shepherd and so He is for my husband as well.

Father, I ask now in the name of Jesus that you richly bless all my brothers and sisters who came to help me. Lord, I am trusting the Holy Spirit guided each one in to what to say. I thank you Father for them. You tell us you will never leave us or forsake us. I believe when we come together and love on each other, this is one of the ways you never leave us. Thank you Lord; I praise your Holy name. Amen.

Hello Dear Sister Java,

I am still getting the song...breathe on me...
I am glad the Lord brought u here, may the Lord his blessings and his love pour over you..in Jesus' name,

Oh divine Abba Rapha, Great and Wonderful physician, healer, restorer....a good report is what is asked for and A good report is what we require of you. Jesus come save Java and Her husband...Step into this situation...guide everyone Dear Holy Spirit...Lord move into this situation now...we are calling and declaring divine intervention here...Divine intervention dear Lord...We are believing you for miracles dear Father...

I Believe in miracles, I believe in you...(from miracles song)...

Sickness-No: Cancer-No: Tumors- No in Jesus Name. We are declaring in Jesus name...Deliverance Yes, Healing Yes, restoration Yes, Redemption Yes, Recovery Yes and we are calling this walk to be for your glory and leading into you and your love, into your glory in Jesus' name, amen

Father u r the source of all our supply and today we are believing and asking for miracles into this situation, in Jesus' name, amen...Lord move over this entire situation and give Java and her Husband Psalm 91 and Psalm 103 in Jesus' name, amen

love and blessings in the Lord,

Serenity

Hi Java

This morning while watching online church I was directed to the Psalms and Psalm 145 it came for me to give to you to hold on to...may it be ur Psalm all the days of your life in Jesus' name, amen...

You can hold on to the Lord, Java for he knows and hears ur cries...

love and blessings in the Lord,

Serenity