Family,
I need prayer for guidance. I ask for it but it seems that the LORD has not given me any orders as of yet. I really do not understand what is happening in my life right now. It seems to me that her hears my prayers for others and not only does he hear them – but they are being manifested but prayers for myself go unanswered. I need financial miracles they do not come. I ask for career opportunities to increase the ones I have started to disappear instead of increase. I ask that LORD to bless me with a husband – I continue to meet men that have other agendas other than the LORDS. I just do not understand. It seems that I have been in the wilderness for such a long time and I am trying to do all the things I know to do – but one it seems I get tired/weary and start to do things contrary to my beliefs. I guess I feel sometimes I am doing what is right – and nothing going is happening so what is the purpose. I remember days when the LORD spoke loudly and clear to me – now days it seems he is distant and far from me.

I am not sad today actually I am in a very pleasant mood – I just wonder if anyone else knows how I am feeling and can offer me any advice. Because honestly I am not sure what I need at this time.

Most gracious and holy God,
I do not know what I need. Father I do not know what to say to you. I do not know what steps to take next. Lord I do not know. Amen

You may feel alone or just don't know what to do anymore, but you are never alone. Sometimes God steps back to see how we will handle things.
Believe it or not, he never gives us anything to big we can't handle. You will gain strength and faith through your weakness. Keep praying and keep your eyes on the Lord. I believe the right job for you is around the corner and I pray that the Lord give you direction, guidance, and patience. Don't give up. I know the Lord also does not intend for us to be alone so I pray that the Lord bless you, build your confidence and lead the perfect mate into your life. You have christian, spiritual friends right here to help you when you fall.
Lord please uplift Tanya's spirits today. Show her your love for her. Give Tanya a sense of perfect peace in her life. We know that you have plans to prosper us and not to harm. We give these things to you and pray in the name of Jesus.
Amen.

Dear Tanya, settle back and rest in Him. Do you trust that what is happening to You is from His hand? Do you believe that God is able in a second to change your circumstance? Do you believe that He is good, and will only allow what is for your good into your life because He loves you so very much? Do you trust that He will bring a mate to you at the proper time, when you are ready and when your future mate is ready? Would you be willing to forgo having a mate if God said it is what would be best for you? Do you believe that what you need today will be provided for you if you are diligent about the work and resources within your control? Do you believe that God will provide today, what is needed today?

All this to say: I went through a time before I met my husband that I was so very lonely I felt close to despair. But, I trusted God that if ever I was to meet someone, it would be when I was ready and when he was ready. The circumstances of our meeting is a miracle in itself. God totally surprised both of us when we least expected it.

After we married, the Lord led us to a home that we felt certain we were to buy. It was impossible with our financial position (we both owned houses and we had a combined debt of over $45,000). I went to the Lord in the night and asked Him to show me how this could be accomplished. I was so very financially conservative that I never bought anything without knowing I could pay for it by waitressing). He gave me a plan and when we went to the bank the next morning and I told the loan officer, he said "I think that would work. Let me check." It did work. We walked out with $38,000 in the bank to pay our house payments until our own homes sold.

When the financial issues became strained (I didn't listen to the Lord and we didn't get my house sold for a year and a half); the Lord used the circumstances to teach me about looking to Him for the needs for "that" day. One time, our bridge loan on my home was set to expire (we had already extended it twice and couldn't again). We had been to several banks and no one could help us. I felt the Spirit prompt me to try the loan officer who had given me our first extension. When I called his office, the woman sounded confused. She said, "Well, yes, he's here. Let me see if he can talk to you." As it turned out, he was there by chance. He had changed branches and was there doing an audit. He had just walked in. He set an appointment with me for 5:10 the next evening: the day our loan was set to expire. On the way to the bank, my husband told me he had heard an ad on the radio about home equity loans at 4 or 5%. I didn't think it was a possibility for us; but, when we got to the bank, we began to discuss our situation and it looked bleak. One problem was that I had not filed my corporate or personal taxes for the past two years and they wanted to see the returns. I also had taken a huge pay cut to keep my business afloat and they wanted to see my pay stubs. Then, I asked him about what Robert had heard about the home equity loan. He did a calculation and said, "You know, I don't do those but the girl who does may still be here. Let me check." He came back in and said, she said that we did qualify. We didn't have to show ~any~ documentation. There were no closing costs or fees. And, it took about 5 minutes to fill out the form.

Robert and I walked out of that meeting, and I knew that no matter what it looks like, our God is able and He will always act in our behalf. He will never be late! We need to look to Him "today" for what we need "this day". He will provide. And, when we wake tomorrow, He will again supply our daily needs. He wants us to learn, Tanya, to live today to it's fullest. Not to be longing for something we don't have; but, to be enjoying what we do.

I'm sorry this is so long; but, my prayer for you is this: Father God, Great and Wonderful and Mighty! Grant sweet Tanya the ability to rest in Your love for her; and, in Your Wisdom for what she needs in her life at this moment. Let her seek You for You: to come to know You more deeply and intimately. To understand and know without a doubt that You love her beyond her ability to understand or comprehend; and, there is nothing in her life that is not for her good, and for Your glory. We thank You for her and for her love for you! Bless her abundantly we ask in Jesus Most Holy Name! Trustworthy is our God!

Tanya -

I understand your concerns. You are not alone. We all walk through this desert at various times in our walk. I am struggling through many of these same issues myself right now. But God is faithful and sometimes He leads us to the desert or hides in the clouds so that our faith and reliance on Him will grow.

Tanya, we cannot give up hope. We must trust and be obedient. We cannot rely on emotions, circumstances or wants to determine our course of action.

Galations 6:9 says, "So let's not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don't give up, or quit." MSG

I encourage you to step back for a moment and take a hard look at your life....did you get up this morning, are you breathing right now, do you have friend and loved ones...aren't these all blessing from God to us.

Tanya I want you to be encouraged and know that God has not forgotten you. Not for a single second. He loves you and is with you every step of the way.

In regards to a mate, be patient, take your time, wait on God, He knows and cares for you. I struggle in this area too. But God will provide the right person at the right time (which isn't always our timing and can be frustrating).

You said that you are not feeling sad, but I want to share Psalm 42 (MSG) with you anyway. Keep your eyes on God Tanya, He is your everything, your all in all, your provider and the lover of your soul.

Be blessed!

Howard

Psalm 42 A psalm of the sons of Korah. A white-tailed deer drinks from the creek; I want to drink God, deep draughts of God. I'm thirsty for God-alive. I wonder, "Will I ever make it-- arrive and drink in God's presence?" I'm on a diet of tears-- tears for breakfast, tears for supper. All day long people knock at my door, Pestering, "Where is this God of yours?"
These are the things I go over and over, emptying out the pockets of my life. I was always at the head of the worshiping crowd, right out in front, Leading them all, eager to arrive and worship, Shouting praises, singing thanksgiving-- celebrating, all of us, God's feast! Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? Fix my eyes on God-- soon I'll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He's my God. When my soul is in the dumps, I rehearse everything I know of you, From Jordan depths to Hermon heights, including Mount Mizar. Chaos calls to chaos, to the tune of whitewater rapids. Your breaking surf, your thundering breakers crash and crush me. Then GOD promises to love me all day, sing songs all through the night! My life is God's prayer. Sometimes I ask God, my rock-solid God, "Why did you let me down? Why am I walking around in tears, harassed by enemies?" They're out for the kill, these tormentors with their obscenities, Taunting day after day, "Where is this God of yours?" Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? Fix my eyes on God-- soon I'll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He's my God.

Dear Tanya, I just read your letter. You remind me so much of myself years ago. 1st of all God is faithful, He never leave us nor forsake us, we leave Him. I remember losing my job,I didn't have a husband and I am a single parent. I felt that God was blessing every one around me, but me. I use to pray God what's wrong with me I love you, I serve you just like them. When is it going to be my turn?
I didn't hear nothing from God, I was like God where are you, hello is anyone their. Tanya I had to wait on the Lord and be of good courage. I know that's not the answer you are looking for, However, that's the answer. I learn to praise God for the state I was in, in that present time. I drew closer and closer to Him. I kept reminding God of what He promise me, that He would never leave me nor forsake me, He will supply all my needs to riches of His glory, promotion comes from the Lord, incease. I just kept reminding God of what He promised us. He said, that His word shall not return to him void. Guess what it didn't.
Since I got laid off, God said go back to school well I haven't been in school in over 10yrs. But I did, I been on the Dean list since I've been in school guess what I have two classes to take this summer, then I will have my A.A. degree in Social Work. I'm still single but yet contient, There is a difference in being alone and being lonely. I might be alone but I am not lonely. God bless me with a job, that I didn't even expect to get. It was only to be a temp. postion, guess what it's permament. I work for the Chicago Board of Education Schools. God showed me favor Tanya, not because I was always good or obident just because He loves me and I trust Him. Right now I am going through, I have to come up with 3100.00 for my house that is in foreclosure. But you know what Tanya, If God don't doing it want be done. I'm trusting Him, He said He would never leave nor forsake me, He will take care of all my needs. God said it not me

Thank you all for your words of encouragment and your prayers for ME.