Please pray for my marriage. We have been married for almost 11 years. We love each other very much!! But an old school friend of my husband moved in with usin May this year. (It spells disaster, doesn't it?) And with that my husband business demands a lot of his time. The friend works for my husband. They spend most of their time together. My husband, in my opinion, started to act like a single man; making remarks about beautiful women, and about the shortcomings of women. Once or twice they stayed out late at night. I feel neglected and pushed aside and disrespected. I understand that that he needs to work hard to support us and to build his business and I don't want to be the nagging wife, but I want my husband back!!!
I have made a decision not to fight about this. This is difficult for me because I tend to speak my mind. I don't want to seem like a jealous wife.
Please pray with me, I don't want to loose my husband and I don't want to feel so alone and heartbroken.

JDT, I will pray for you. I understand your feelings about your current situation. Continue prayer, ask your husband to pray with you, and that way he will see your feelings in a non-confrontational way. God Bless you!

JDT, invite your husbands friend to pray as well. My prayer is for this friend to find his/her own place and that the Lord will open the eyes of your husbands heart to you and the needs of his family first then others. Blessings...

I have been in this very same situation. My husband started going out with his friends in 2003 I became angry and resentful which only made him go out more. By Oct. 2004 he went out and didn't come back for three months this went on until March of 2007. Yes I begged him to come home, but was so angry when he would come home and not respond to me (drugs and alcohol were involved on his behalf) I thought me and our children would be enough for him. Subsequently we are now divorced and I miss him painfully each and every day. I constantly replay in my mind the things I could have done differently and what I have learned that I hope you can learn too is that at times in a marriage you will be called to step back, it is hard when you have been NO. 1. Make Jesus your no. 1, find your own interest, and do NOT say ANYTHING to your husband. Ask God to speak to him, because your husband is under God's authority. Only God can change his heart. You need to be quiet and gentle, let your husband see that you can have your own interest. believe me he will wonder why you don't care that he is not spending time with you. don't yell or nag. I did cried, screamed, nagged and it got me nothing but lonliness and three children to raise by myself. I know this is hard but you need to do this. I am praying for you. btw we were married 11 years too.

Thank you for the advice. I am trying to let go. Let God be in control, but it is difficult and painful. I know at some stage he will need me again like he used to. But for know I have to let go. But never stop praying. I went to a parent/teacher meeting last night.
The motivational speaker for the evening said that sometimes ones fears are so dominant in your life that you think them into reality. He said, it all starts as a petty issue, but you keep thinking about it, feeding this idea until it turns into this huge raging monster that you believe is real. He used the example of a little one that is lying in bed, looking at his coat behind the door. At first he only sees arms, then he sees legs and feet and then he sees the whole monster and he screams “Mommy!!” When his mom comes and turns on the light, he realizes that it was only his coat. Well this is hat I an going to do about my marriage: I am NOT going to feed the beast anymore, I am going to pray that God talks to my husbands heart AND turn on the light so that I can see what is real and what am I imagining.

Thank you, again for praying with me and please don’t stop.

Love you all

JDT, your guide to keeping your marriage and your home consecrated to God should be God's Word. Avoid the advice of motivational speakers and others who do not use as a basis for their teaching Holy Scripture.

In Genesis 2:24, God said "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Jesus reinforces this teaching in Mark 10:6-8 "But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh; so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."

In a marriage, the home is a sanctuary. It is that special place where husband and wife are one. Whatever happens in their outside world in their separate lives, all comes together in the home. The home is a shelter, not to be shared with anyone outside the blessed union. The children of a marriage of course are part of that union. Friends, inlaws, or anyone else who comes to live long term in the home ultimately and most probably will trouble the waters of the sanctuary to some extent.

Your initial description of the influence of your husbands friend on your husband is most troubling. The enemy of any marriage is satan himself who seeks to destroy the union God has made in you and your husband. God's advice to us: let no man separate the union with our spouse. That is a command to us. We are not to allow such a person to divide the marriage.

We are not called to be passive and let prayer take hold, although certainly much prayer must follow our actions. We are called to take authority over our home and keep any divisive influence out. You are not called to be a pleaser to your husband's friend, to appease his need for a friendship like the good old days or whatever the friend seeks in your husband. You and your husband are called to defend your marriage, your home, your union from any outside influence. "let no man put asunder" = let no man divide your marriage.

My prayers join the others for you and your marriage.

Nick P.

GOD HELP JDT ..O the Almighty of God help peoples are ferstrated by their merraige like JDTddawitm@yahoo.com

Dawit Daniel