I'm new to this board....please forgive should I not know how to work it as well as others.

I have a prayer request concerning my "fella" and the relationship I have with him.

I've been seeing him regularly for nearly three years now and things are progressing....BUT VERY SLOWLY. I know he's been burned. He's had other girlfriends who all cheated on him, used him and took from him. And, he's been divorced as well. She cheated on him and took him for everything he had at the time.....at least there were no children involved. I know he's scared to commit fully again and he's told me that he can't give me what I want "yet" but that he's working on it.....
He's coming around....and he trusts me completely with everything of his (his money, his vehicles, animals, house, etc). I'm part of the family when his parents and siblings are around and family reunions and parties are always a part of my summer and free times....

I am just wishing for him to marry me like he knows I want. He promised never to string me along, never to hurt me or break my heart, but....I do tend to worry. I asked The Lord to STOP this whole thing when it started if it wasn't of him; but the whole thing just kept getting better and better and better.
We hunt together....and when we are just relaxing together, I have never felt such a peace and sense of comfort when with someone. I do not wish to lose what I have and lately, he seems to call less (he used to call every single day just to call for over 2 yrs) and lately I'm not allowed to be "one of the guys" so much when we go hunting (everyone tells me he's being protective and doesn't want other men around me....?).
I would just like to have some one pray that this will indeed work out. I want to be a partner to him; love him and show him that not all women want to gut and hurt him. I want to be able to show the love of the Lord with him....and I need encouragement when I get down, or over sensitive or hurt when I start thinking that he doesn't care (he works 6-7 days a week, 10-14 hr days and I know I should be supportive ALWAYS, it's just hard at times).

I'm asking God to bless this union. I want this man to be my husband. My partner. I want to work with him and accomplish much. I just want any hurt, past fears, or anything that's hindering this "teaming up" to be removed. I know some of his ex's from years and years ago are still around the area and I feel threatened by them (even though there's no connection with them, no words of threat, nothing....) I fear that because of this, his past, his hurt, or whatever it is!, that our union will not be. I have greater and greater faith lately.....I just need peace of mind, more affirmation and a patience that will aid me.

I am asking The Lord for this man, his salvation, his entire family's salvation....and I would like to have this soon. It is my heart's desire....and I would appreciate and be honored if anyone would pray about this. I'm settled on this man. I just would like God to orchestrate a miracle....would move on my behalf soon.....

Many thanks. I appreciate it.

Hi,

I will be lifting you up in prayer. God Bless You!

May GOD"S WILL be done!!!! Reading your message really touched me. I pray that you change one thing. Take out all the I WANTS to(GOD'S WILL)for your life with this man. I believe if you do that then GOD's WILL will move. God knows what is best for you and He is a jealous God.

I pray that God will give you the desires of your heart. Be encourage my sista in Christ Jesus.

In the powerful name of Jesus Christ, I uphold my dear sister Janice in your mighty hands and ask that You grant her the desires of her heart according to Your will.
We claim Romans 8:28 that may all things work according to Your will. Amen

I will continue to uphold your prayer request daily.

MDP, you are on my daily prayer request list, together with the others.

God really does hear and answers prayers according to His timing.

Manasseh Lului

Thank you all so much. I appreciate the encouragement and all has been going well. I am focusing MORE on The LORD instead of what I want or need. HE knows the desires of my heart and I am believing and trusting in HIM. Thank you for putting me on your prayer lists..... Thank you so very much!!!!

MDP, I have read your original post here, and will offer up something from a man's perspective if that's all right, and hope it provides something of value to your life.

I am that same man, and have also a best friend that fits that same description who is a FORMER pastor that became divorced due to some of the same circumstances as your "fella". About the time you met YOUR guy, my friend also met a wonderful Lady who sounds just like you in the way she loves and imapacts his life. My friend was (and STILL IS--trust me!) SO THANKFUL to meet her (you)...to have her life-giving input in his life, and he was grateful also for the ability to gradually begin to build trust for her in his damaged life. Make no mistake, MDP...your guy is GRATEFUL for your presence in his life...but the issue I think you see is that he is still not "healed" from his past. That is my perception (I CAN BE WRONG) based on the identical story I have seen in my friend, and the intimate conversations we have shared over time about his love relationship and what keeps him from committing to his Lady in a permanent way.

In short...your man still needs some healing.

YOU...apparently came into his life somewhat WHOLE...and ministered successfully to him in such a way that he now "trusts you" with his family, home and friends. That is powerful, AND CAN BE OF GOD to be sure!

However...AND THIS IS KEY...your "fella" came into YOUR life WOUNDED...and because YOU ARE NOT GOD...your powerful love and influence in his life is still "LIMITED" by--and TO--your own humanity. Simply stated: You cannot fully HEAL HIM. It sound to me like he needs COMPLETION in his healing of his past hurts in order to confidently move forward with YOU (or any other part of his life!). That "completion" is not your job...not your place...and not God's will for his life OR YOURS. His HEALING (the missing piece in your puzzle) must come from his Creator...and for that to happen...your fella must SEE THE NEED FOR HEALING...admit he (nor YOU) can DO THAT FOR HIM...and come to the realization that HE NEEDS TO BE MADE WHOLE by his Creator--so that he can SEEK AND FIND THE UNIQUE HEALING GOD DESIRES TO GIVE TO HIM AND HIM ALONE, thereby equipping him to share his authentic love (for you as well as OTHERS~!) fully--and without reserve. The only way this can happen is from God. He can get "close" to healed in other ways...may be able to "fake it" convincingly...may even convince HIMSELF that he is "healed" from past hurts and pains and (God forbid!)...may even try to "move on with his life" with YOU. BUT TRUST THIS: You DO NOT WANT THAT...even though it is TRUTH IN YOUR HEART that you see the possibilities in this man, truly DO LOVE HIM, and believe the two of you can have a better life together.

Heres the rub:

He sounds like my friend...about 90 percent healthy, and about 10 percent floating somewhere between pain and denial. 90 percent is a GREAT NUMBER, and it's NO WONDER YOU LOVE THAT 90 PERCENT you GET and SEE. I can't blame you at all (and never would!) for loving the 90 percent man, and all that gives to you, to him, and to you both as a couple. GOOD STUFF!

However, so long as the 10 percent is not resolved, there is always going to be a 10 percent chance that the other 90 percent will get SPOILED by the open wound(s) in his soul. To me, that is not a healthy risk to take. Better to heal the 10 percent and run together in BLISS...than to marry the 90 percent and find yourself having to run away from the HURT.

YOU...came to HIM...WHOLE. Right?

He...came to YOU...UNWHOLE. Right?

YOU...deserve a WHOLE MAN...not PART of a man...right?

HE...deserves a WHOLE WOMAN...not PART of a whole woman...right?

Until he is truly healed, you are unequally yoked, and cannot have the FULL RELATIONSHIP GOD WANTS YOU TO SHARE.

When he BECOMES HEALED...he will either RUN TO YOU, or lay down his dependence upon you. YOU will have to choose whether you are willing to risk that possibility that he may leave. I know that's hard, but it is BETTER to lose (or WIN!!!!) his "completed" love", than to MARRY his "incomplete love".

Think about any or all of this as you receive it in your spirit...let it bless you somehow if it will...and let us all know how things are going as God orchestrates your lives both INDIVIDUALLY, and as a team. We care...all want the best for you, and GOD BLESS YOU BOTH and complete this good work in your lives. AMEN!

So....n2shack....You're telling me to pray and give it time? Give my fella's healing and heart over to God? Or are you telling me it's hopeless and to move on. I don't wish to do so. I truly love this man and have thought about "moving on", but that causes such a stir in my spirit that it truly hurts and causes me to lose sleep over it! I have never loved someone like this.....

I asked God at the very beginning, that if this association wasn't meant to be (my fella made the first move and I was very surprised), that God would STOP IT IMMEDIATELY. I tried to stop it myself....but here I am, still "with" him (in the capacity I can be with him....I'm not entirely all the way in yet and I know it).....

I wish to know what to do. I'm hoping that with the prayers I've been offering up, that one day my guy will be healed of his hurt, his past, his fears. I know I can't do it....that's why I'm asking for prayer.

I guess I'm winning a losing battle, then? Or do I misunderstand your post?

All is wish is for God to move upon my situation quickly....that I'll have peace of mind while I wait for my fella's healing and that I may be used as God sees fit.

It's hard on me, but.....this is has also been a learning and growing time for me.

I would ask that those who are willing, to daily offer up a prayer for me and my fella and to ask that he be healed and ready to "claim me" soon.

I have faith that God can do all things. I am hoping that he will move on my behalf soon. He knows the desires of my heart....what my future holds. I was NEVER looking to get married....but my mother made me make a list of what I wanted in a mate and to PRAY for a husband. ONE YEAR to the date of doing so....here came "my fella". I don't know....but it seems like as soon as my heart was opened to the idea of getting married (I was FOREVER opposed to it from day one) that God allowed me to see my fella right then (I've known him since 1991).

Anyway....I babble on. Please....I do wish for others to continue to pray for me, for my guy and for the future that I am hoping we will both share.

Thank you.

Hi MDP...thanks for your reply, and thanks especially for opening my eyes to something I want to make very clear, if I may:

I am definitely NOT advising you to stay--or leave--with or from this man. I am not "judging" this relationship...or either of your "parts" in it, as it is not my place, and to do so would be wrong of me. Please forgive me any damage I may have done to your HOPE, as we should NEVER deprive ANYONE of hope...it may be all they have. I am definitely NOT saying you are "winning a losing battle" at all!

I see lots of great things going on between you that should INSPIRE hope, and based on your words, I can certainly "see" why this relationship has promise. All good stuff!

My post to you was intended to give you some insight into a real-life parallel situation, and open up any help and/or healing that might offer as you alone decide what you must do to protect your heart. You did express some concerns about possibly "losing" this relationship...and I thought my real-life example might help you in knowing that others have similar experiences, and you are not alone in this fight for your love. I also hoped my friend's example would possibly help you "see" and possibly understand what your significant other may be feeling in this time.

My timing is definitely not right here, as I can see now that what we are to do is simply pray that God will hear your prayers and respond by healing your significant other. That is certainly what this forum is for and about. May God touch your situation and bring hope and healing as quickly as possible so that these two can be as one, without limitations. Amen!

I also think it powerful that you made your man-list, and exactly one year to that day you met your significant other! That kind of thing is hard to ignore...and in fact, is just the kind of signature any of us believers would expect from God. You prayed right...you asked right...you gave God the controls...and you got this guy, right? Only question not answered is this: is he Mr. Right?

I beg your pardon while I make just one more important reference to my friend. In EVERY WAY, my friend is Mr. Right. I suspect that YOUR significant other is also, just based on what we know. But the fact is, my friend is not yet COMPLETELY healed of his past hurts, which means he simply can't (not WON'T--two completely different things!) give himself completely (100 percent) until he can finally let go of the past and move FULLY into the present. Otherwise...except for that tiny gigantic issue in his life...he's a TOTAL CATCH. A more loving, giving, fair, balanced, honest and FAITHFUL man you will never find. Now...does that sound familiar?

I hope God heals this man, or leads him to healing some other way, very soon. I want to see you two WIN. I loathe seeing another loving relationship destroyed by the enemy. In contrast, I want to see VICTORY for you, my friend, myself, everyone here, everyone beyond. My concern is simply that you realize why you may be giving more than you're getting in return...understand why that may be...find your peace with that somehow...and live the full and rich lives God intends for you BOTH.

By the way, as HIS significant other, I am wondering if you have even talked with him about all this? He may be ready RIGHT NOW to seek the help he may need to finish what he has started with you. Have you told him? Does he truly KNOW how you feel? That may be all it takes to set his healing in motion...a gentle "nudge" that reinforces in him just how much you care...just how much he means to YOU.

We are praying for speed and completion, and hoping for the best of everything for the TWO of you. And again, I ask you to forgive any missteps here or past that cause doubt or suffering in any way. Thank you. We love you and keep us posted!

I have told him how I feel....he know exactly what I want. He just tells me that he can't give me what I want "just yet". I guess I'll just have to keep doing what I'm doing, loving him, supporting him and telling him MORE OFTEN how I feel.

It's up to God to heal my fella. I'm praying that he'll be able to SEE that I'm not like the other woman....I'm not "out to get him" that I'm the real deal. I know he sees this....and yet someway, he's still afraid.

I'm praying that GOD do this for me. I simply can not. It's beyond my power. I want to have the peace of mind, patience and strength.... A lot of my problems come from ME being selfish, childish and impatient, lacking trust.... Sometimes NOT believing that my prayers will be answered. I guess I have some things to be healed of as well.

I am continuing to ask for prayer. I daily have to give to this God and ask him to take over. I can't do this in my own strength....but I can't. Everytime I do try to do it, it controls my life and I get full of anxiety. That's not good.

Thank you to all who pray for me. I truly value them all and I will hopefully one day (soon) get to post an update on this all....

Thank you.

Hey all....
I just wanted to thank everyone who has prayed for me and my relationship. As of now, it's all so much better and keeps getting stronger each week. I just wanted to ask for additional prayer and for those who have offered up requests on my behalf....I thank you. Please continue. I believe that God is strengthening both of us....and his timing is perfect (even though I'd love to rush things a bit, I'm learning to be patient and to allow love to grow naturally and with The Lord's help!). I have learned to love and forgive all the more over these past months and I am thankful.
If you would, please continue to offer up requests on my and my fella's behalf. I do wish to have him as my partner.....and to show him that not only do I love him, without condition, but that above all that God loves him.
Thank you all....

quote:

My relationship

are bound to shift from time to time in a relationship, especially when life gets in the way. She doesn't have a job just now so she will be feeling the pressure of that & maybe that is making her feel like she's failing you in some way? I don't think the fact that you are two girls makes any difference though as i'm sure this sort of thing happens with other couples too.

You adore each other, have a healthy sex life & are very affectionate towards each other. These are the foundations of a great relationship. You're just going through a bad patch, we all have them occasionally so I wouldn't say the relationship is doomed. It's just a little bit shaky at the minute.

You just need to respect each other, & as much as you're sick of talking things to death, you need to in order to sort things & move on. I would try sitting down with the two of them separately in order to get to the bottom of the nitpicking, if this is the cause of most of the fights. Maybe they both need to learn what they have to do in order to get along better.

Regards...
Randy
_________________________________________________________________________
maui lodging | home mortgage colorado | san miguel de allende real estate

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Randy72,