Just recently, my husband confessed that he had an affair with another. He said that he opted to confessed his sin to me as the other woman wouldnt want to leave and that she was threatening to reveal the info to me if my husband leaves her. My husband said that the affair lasted for more than a year and that it lasted that long because he was afraid that I will find out because he was always threatened/harassed by this girl. He said he didn't want to hurt me but in the end, he had to face his fear and tell me in order for this woman to go away.
I am bitter about this whole thing because this is already the fourth time that he did this to me. My husband promised that he would reform and that he will never hurt me anymore. It is very painful because my husband did his infidelity at the time of his own crisis (his mother was very sick at that time and I was the one taking care of her.)
My husband said that he wanted our family and that he loves me very much. He asked me forget the past as there is nothing he could do about it and for me to concentrate on the future.
I am so confused. I am bitter about the whole thing and I do not know if I should believe him or not. I do not want to be hurt anymore in the future. I did my best as a wife. I tried to relieve him with problems and was very supportive to him. All my achievements and success in my career as well as my hopes and dreams are shattered by this infidelity. Should I still give him a chance?

Elizabeth, I am hurting for you as you go through a rough time in your marriage. The only One who can answer your question is God. Our heavnely Father, I lift up Elizabeth to you. See her as the wonderful server she is to you and guide her in the right direction. Let her know in someway which way she should lean towards when it comes to her husband and her marriage. Help her to keep faith in You and see there is a reason and plan in everything You do. In Your Name, Amen. Elizabeth, keep faith, keep praying, and in time you will know what is the right thing to do concerning your marriage. You will be in my prayers.

Hello Elizabeth,

My heart is broken for you and other men and women who suffer the ultimate maritial torment, that of adultery of a spouse. The temptation to enter into this sin can and does come to most, but why do some fall and others resist and conquer. Check Amazon and you will find 45,968 books on the topic, all providing advice and counsel as divergent as "forgive and forget" to leave him. No wonder you are confused, as society, including the church, seems in utter disagreement if not confusion about responses to the sin.

Despite the thousands of books written on the topic, we need only one to follow, the Holy Bible. Elizabeth, we know that forgiveness is a basic tenet of being a Christian, or one who is Christ like. ( Matthew 6:14 and Ephesians 4:32 come to mind ) Your life sounds like a lesson in forgiveness and you are to be admired for your dedication to your husband and family through all of his past adulterous relationships. As you did then, you must do now. Forgive him, as if the sin had not occurred. Forgiveness is a decision of our will and one we must make with obedience and purpose in our heart. It is a conscious choice we make. Your husband's sin cannot be used against him in times of strife, anger, or during renewed bitterness that will of course creap in from time to time. Forgiveness means a clean slate, or white board if you will. Forgiveness means it is gone forever. What a challenge huh? We cannot do it alone. Ask God to help you forgive him, truly forgive him. You will feel cleansed, but why am I telling you this, you have done it already three times. Some of the devastation you feel will vanish, some will remain that only time and continual prayer and God's resultant blessings can handle.

Men and women who have willful and numerous adulterous relationships have dubious credability, in my opinion. Their word is as good as their next temptation and it will come too. Men who cheat search for opportunities to do so. Your husband needs help to conquer his battle with satan. Satan wants to destroy you, him, your family, your marriage. A simple "I won't do it again" is pure putty in the hands of satan for someone who has proven no strength to his word. Your husband must have someone to be accountable to, whether it be a close Christian friend (male of course) pastor or priest, or Christian relative. He needs someone to demand accountability from him. If he will not ascribe to either firm Christian counseling (beware of those who would explain away his "weakness")or pastoral counseling for an extended period, I would say he has not reached the point where he is willing to bury his flesh and take up his sword and another chance will lead to just another failure to the flesh.

Your husband must must choose his flesh or his walk with Christ. True repentence, accountability to a Christian brother or counselor, and continual prayer and study of God's word are absolutely necessary for him. Satan will continue to pursue him and your husband's battle with his flesh and is just beginning.

We know though, that wonderful reminder to your husband and to you as well that nothing can separate us from the Love of God, Elizabeth. Nothing.


Romans 8:35-39

35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

36As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.

37Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

38For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

39Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.



Hold on to Christ, regardless of what happens. We will be praying for you and your marriage.

Nick P.

Elizabeth, my heart goes out to you, and no one can tell you whether you should stay or go, but know this that you deserve a good man whom you can trust, one that loves you and respects you. Infidelity is a diffecult thing to deal with because it destroys the heart and soul and mind. You will have to seek God and pray for yourself, moreso than your husband, because the anger and the distruction of trust will eat away at you no matter what you choose to do. What he has done is his choice God give us free will and troubles in life do not justify the betrayal. Since is has happened multipal times, it shows that he does not truely regret his actions nor has he learned from them, and you need to ask yourself what you have learned from them. Those things must be addressed before you can go forward with your life. Dear Father, bless Elizabeth and make her heart whole. I ask you Lord, that Elizabeth be given the wisdom of Solomon and the strength of Job and that you guide her and bless her life and let all thing be revealed. In Jesus name Amen

Thank you very much for your words of encouragement and Godly wisdom. Please continue to pray for me and my family. Praise God!!