I am really having a hard time in my life right now. I am trying to get back to where I should have been long ago. I have not put Christ first as I knew I should have and put myself first. I was in a relationship that was not a Godly one. We did everything together just not Church. I stopped going to church things several years ago, I was just to busy so I thought. Each day I would try to justify myself and most of the time I was able to be happy on the surface with what I was doing. On the inside I was not very happy at all. the relationship was doom at the start but now 5 years later and a lot of hurt it has ended. I know for my best interest but it does bother me daily. I knew I need to end it along time ago. First for me to really get back on track with God. Now I read and pray a lot. I'm reading the Purpose Driven Life. I hate feeling so lost but I know I'm saved. It becomes so frustrating sometimes. I want to get back to the joy I know I can have with Christ being the center, I have had that feeling before. I put so much between myself and God I get scared I can't get back what I know is there for me. Even knowing this is the direction I want and need to go in it hurts me everyday because wrong or right it was my life. I pray my heart is healed but right now all I feel is hurt. Please pray for me in hope that my walk with Christ will grow stronger and the hurt from my past will fade. I miss the man I was seeing very much but I know he is not the right one. God has other things in mind for me but I'm not sure how to get there. I'm trying to build a new life and friendships and just a nice support group to talk to. If you want to talk you email me please do my email is racnis1@yahoo.com. thanks

I once heard that no matter how far we stray from God; it takes less than a step to go back to him, all we need to do is fall to our knees. Of course it may not feel that simple but just remember that God doesn't love you based on your performance; he loves you based on his grace (unmerited favor). I am encoraged by your desire to grow closer in your walk with God. Remember the prodigal son, whom when he was on his way back found his father wating for him with open arms. I am sure that God has wonderful things in store for you. I will keep you in my prayers. I will pray that God shines his love in your heart & heal your pain. There is a scripture that says that there is a sin that is unto death (1 Jn 5:16); I take that to mean that sometimes we cannot avoid the consequences of our sin. But remember that God is able to save us to the uttermost (Heb 7:25). And after you have recieved comfort from God remember this passage: 2 Cor 1:4 "Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God." & pass on the comfort to others.

Dear Racnis,

Perhaps you have not yet realised that you are now closer to God than ever before. I can sense true repentance in your words and that tells me that you genuinely want to change and live a holy life.
Well, you have already climbed the first step. It is common for Christians to feel dirty, sinful and unworthy of God's favours as we draw closer to Him. That's what the Holy Spirit does in our souls to shed our sinful ways off and take us to a higher level of relationship with our Heavenly Father. There has been a spiritual war in your spirit and our Merciful Father has delivered you. It may take some time for you to acknowledge that YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY AND THANKFUL. Satan has been comprehensively defeated in that chapter of your life!
Do not become a harder judge on yourself than the Lord himself has been. He has forgiven you. Why, then, can't you forgive yourself?
It is time to rejoice, Racnis. It will be difficult for you to hear the voice of God if you keep tormenting yourself with your own remorse. It prevents you from enjoying the blessings ahead.
Chin up! Pray on! Cast the demons of depression and confusion away! You are saved. The Power of God is stronger than anything else past, present or future. Rely on Him! Trust Him with all your might! He Loves You!
We are with you in prayer.
Jorge S.

Hello Racnis,

Would it surprise you to hear that there is not one person on this Earth than CAN put Christ first in their life? We cannot truely put anyone first in our lives but ourselves. At the heart of each of us is a sin nature, borne into us as sure as the sun rises each day. Oh, to be sure, we say that we do put Christ first above all, but really, such a statement disproves itself, as we are faced with the almost daily thoughts of pride, selfishness, and denial. Each of us fails God in some way each day. The Christian does not want to fail our Lord, but we do and oftentimes, our failure to serve Him hurts to the bone. As Paul said in Romans 3:23
"For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God".

Racnis, try looking at the past years of your life and the years ahead in a new title. Rather than "My Walk With Christ", how about "Christ's Walk With Me". Through the years of your life past, though you have not been serving the Lord in all you do, Jesus has been with you each step of the way. We tend to "kick" our selves when we fail the Lord and riddle ourselves with guilt, but you will not find Him kicking you. You will fail God, but God will never fail you.

The parable of the Prodigal Son has great meaning on this web site and in millions of lives on Earth. In Luke 15:11-32, God beautifully show us the story of redemption and grace in a way that redefines what love really is.

The pain and ache attached with the loss of your beloved will pass, in time. As you deepen your devotion to Christ, share your burdens with Him daily in prayer and a time of quiet devotion. Lean on Him. Trust in Him. Learn about the Lord God through daily Bible study.

Now, a suggestion about Bible study. This site, Gods Daily Word, has a wonderful selection of resources to guide your study of God's word. I am not a great fan of books about the Bible. Why settle for a falable man's description of the Bible when you can experience the real deal? As you meditate on God's Word, you get to know the Living God in an intimate way. Stay away from "self" books. You already know yourself, right? And that is the problem, self. God calls us to renew our minds through His Word. Consider what Paul said to the Romans:

Romans 12:1-2

1." I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.
2. And be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."

You say you are not sure you know how to get where God wants you to be. God will show you. As you learn about Him and trust Him, God will walk with you. Yes, "God's Walk with Racnis" That is a great title. Be at peace and enjoy your relationship with the Lord, and the answers will come in time. My prayers and those of many others who have read your post will be with you as well.

Nick P.

Dear Racnis,

Let me start off by asking you, Do you think God wasn't with you in the midst of your situation? Do you think that the Lord gave up on your relationship with him? Do you think that God is not hurting? Well, let me answer these for you, God was and is always with you, since the very moment you whispered his name. Do you remember that day? The day you didn't really know what God could do and how much he loved you but you wanted more than anything to find out what was so wonderful about Christ. Well he never left you, even if you sinned. He was always there, waiting patiently for you to call his name again so he could say "YES MY CHILD, I AM HERE". He never gave up on your relationship with you, he never tossed you aside.He may have gotten jealous more than enough times, because my bible state that he is a Jealous God, and when we as women are in relationships sometimes we put men first and not Christ. Even though he may have been Jealous God, he was still merciful towards you. He too is hurting because you are hurting. Most importantly he is hurting for you to call him, just like that one day way back when.......
Racnis, are you truly ready to call him.....the heartache that you feel from this man that was in your life is something that only GOD can heal, knowone else. Not to say that the heartache and loneliness goes away overnight but the overwhelming love that Christ has for you heals and repairs your heart better than it was before. In the midst of the healing process, The LORD will show you that as a rare quality diamond that you are (somewhat like the HOPE DIAMOND), it is only a special person that is deserving to be apart of your life.

Dear Lord,
Boy, you know I have been here .....but Daddy, I am asking that you touch your daughter's life right now. She is calling out to you. Bring her back to that day that she first met you. The day where she felt so gitty and jumpy in her stomach, like everyday was knew and fresh. God, she hurting, I thank you for removing her hurt, her pain, her depression, her loneliness and everything that the enemy is attacking her with in this vulnerable time. Lord, I asked that even when she misses prayer time with you that you are still whispering in her ear of sweet words to let her know you are there. Lord, I thank you for all that you are doing in her life, today, tomorrow and forever more. Last but not least, when Racnis is ready to encounter the man you have for her, then Lord so be it, but allow him be only of you -the head and never the tail. We praise you Jesus, we love you and we thank you. AMEN.


If you ever need to talk please feel free to e-mail anytime. DAY OR NIGHT. GOD LOVES YOU AND SO DO I!
YOur sister,
NB