I received a daily word about conscience. I've been living with regret/conscience for nearly 6 years and still cry over my decision. May sound unimportant to some, but it was a decision over my Chihuahua (Reco) and Poodle (Mimi) of 10 years. Reco had a continous respiretory infection, enlarged heart from steroids the vet gave him. He needed his teeth pulled and was struggling to breathe at times. But still fought to live. Mimi had one eye removed and the other due to be removed. I was going through alot of financial and emotional issues and I know now I had a complete breakdown. I was not in my right mind. One morning I took my pets to the vet and told him to enthanize them both, As I was leaving, a voice told me to go back and save them. When I arrived home a voice told me to call and save them. But I did not, recalling all I had been through with both financially, surgeries, and with medications etc. "Since that time I awake crying for them. When I close my eyes at night I can not sleep for thinking I should have gone back. I see their faces. I miss them so much. I regret the day like a fire that won't go away inside me. I try to justify my actions, but I know I should have taken them to another vet. I should have listened to that voice telling me to go back. I later learned I could have had Rico's teeth pulled to stop the infections, and Mimi could have lived happily even though she would be blind. I can not stop crying each day. For 6 years now, I wake up crying nearly morning feeling such regret. I cry at night when I am alone. I know that was God's voice telling me to go back. I know I had some sort of breakdown as this all occured when I was selling a house, buying another, and buying a house in another state where I eventually relocated. All while trying to keep my job. All the financial and emotional issues just sent me over edge. Today I know I would never have my dogs put to sleep for the same issues. I am finding it hard to forgive my self. I feel as though I betrayed Reco and Mimi who had been through so much with me and been such a big part of my life. I pray for God to take away the pian and help me forgive myself, but the pain is still alive like it was yesterday. At one point, I was so torn, all I wanted to do was die to be with them. Since their death, seems as though I have stopped living. Something inside me died. I know no one can help with my emotions except God. I need prayer for God to heal me and help me forgive myself. It's been said animals do not have souls, but I hope I can see my doggies again.
Any words of wisedom and prayer will be appreciated. As I did not stay while they were euthanized, can someone tell me exactly how and what occurs during euthanation?
I now have 6 other dogs I love a lot, but none have healed the pain in my heart for Reco and Mimi.

Precious and Holy Father,

We humbly come to you asking that remove the feeling Suzy has and replace them with your joy. Lord, we know that you have forgiven her and we ask that she forgive herself. Lord, please step in and clear her conscience and remove regret. Lord, love the hurt away. It is in your matchless name we say this prayer, AMEN!