Not sure if this is the place to bring this up. I need some advice. I am volunteering for a person with authority in a local Bible college. She has recently been given this authority and I have known her for several years as I attend the college. I have, over the years, begun to see things in her that upset and confuse me. I see pride, control, manipulation, even a “gossipy” nature. She likes being in charge. I see it with the people she interacts with and she knows which people she needs to be nice to. (Am I gossiping now??) I have wondered if I’m the only one who sees this. I don’t think it’s my imagination. I tend to be one who sits back and take in that which goes on around me. But this is not something which I certainly could point out to someone else, because that WOULD be gossip.

I have had a feeling deep inside to walk away from the volunteer situation which I know would upset her because she is a very busy person. On one hand, I am afraid that I may be being used; on the other hand, I may be looked down upon for making this decision. She knows how to “sweeten up” to a person when she needs something and she has a way of treating people who she doesn’t like… And I am not one to come back at her for something she might have said or done that I didn’t agree with. I’m not very confrontational.

Before she was in authority, another woman was and things were not like this. When this woman stepped down from her role in the college my heart sank because I suspected this would happen. What upsets me is seeing this woman turning into something that might cause her to fall one day. It would not look good for the college. What’s amazing is that those in authority over her don’t see this. (Or do they and overlook it? We’ll never know.)

Can anyone give me some advice? I have prayed for her, that if this truly is what is happening and not my imagination, that God would reveal it to her before things get out of hand. I also need prayer that I not allow this to fester in me and become bitter and resentful. How easily that could happen. Perhaps stepping from my responsibilities would take care of this.

Thanks for any advice.........

Gal 6:1 "Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted."

Focus on the clause "in the spirit of meekness" - when you approach someone do your best to let them know that you are genuinely concerned & not just bickering at them for no reason. If their behavior is personally offensive to you then let them know; but if the only reason you are bothered is that their own salvation may be on the line, then let them know that too.

1st Tim 5:19 "Against an elder receive not an accusation, but before two or three witnesses." This tells me that most times you shouldn't even approach someone in authority unless you have confirmation by other people about the concern & they are willing to go with you to confront the individual.

I hope this helps & I will pray for you because you seem to be more ill at ease than the person in question about the issue. Just remember that there are all different types of personalities in the body of Christ & every once in a while there is such a thing as a personality conflict; & even though you may not get along that does not mean that the person you are conflicting with isn't saved.

I know that the feeling of being used is seldom pleasant, but remember these passages; 1 Pet 2 18 & 19 "Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward. For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully." & 1 Tim 6:1 "Let as many servants as are under the yoke count their own masters worthy of all honour, that the name of God and his doctrine be not blasphemed." & Col 3:22-24 "Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God: And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ." - Just pray to our father if He wants you to remain in the position if it is causing you pain & if He does it is for a reason; perhaps to teach you patience in dealing with people like her, perhaps for you to preach to her so she can see your side of it, perhaps because your voulenteer work is blessing someone else who has nothing to do with her.

Btw, I don't think seeking counsel for an issue that is bothering you is gossip, I believe that if you bicker about someone else's behavior without any concern for their well-being & no intentions to look for solutions, but rather to make them look bad, that is gossip.

thank you for telling the truth as it is usually we as Christians we are liars, pretenders i think god is showing this to you not only to keep quite but to warn this womwn before it is too late as you have mentioned what if i was this woman and you see and know what you know i would love for you to tell me that and i w ould just repent.

the bible is talking too much about the dangers of the tongpue and that it is small but it can be as dangerous as a wild fire and to tell you the truth people like this woman they destroy people.

the fact that she is saved,she must act like a saved woman.

Thank you for your comments. Looks like I have a lot of praying to do in regard to this issue. Yes, the fact that she is a Christian, and a teacher as well, makes this a very difficult. I fear for her position and the reputation of the college. Pride comes before the fall...I would not want to see that happen.

Laurie, I find myself in a like position. I will pray for you. It is very hard to see this when you want yourself to do the right thing...I sympathize with you and know your pain and conflict....I will pray for you as well as others....